The Lunamancer


«Hero in an island, with treasure chests near them»

Hero: Aaaaah! After WEEKS of uninterrupted battling, FINALLY a quiet arrival on a silent night.

«A beam of moonlight appears, and a LunarMancer teleports in»

LunarMancer: Greetings, salutations, lamentations, and many lonely nights here on lovely Terra Lacuna!
LunarMancer: I'm going to cut straight to the point, no surprise twists here.
LunarMancer: I'm planning on destroying this island and you're gonna help me.

Hero: Nice try, suddenly-appearing-stranger, but there's no way -

LunarMancer: What did I say about speaking? Of course you'll help me. IF you ever want to LEAVE the island.

«LunarMancer points to the Hero's ship, and then sinks it»

LunarMancer: Anyways, You couldn't even begin to understand what it's like being a LunarMancer.

«Scene zooms in on LunarMancer»

LunarMancer: "Oh, if only the moon were a LITTLE fuller for my Graveyard Gala!"

«Scene zooms in more»

LunarMancer: "What do you MEAN you can't walk on the moon?!"

«Scene now shows nothing but the LunarMancer's face»

LunarMancer: They have no idea how powerful I really am… but all they want to see are parlor tricks!

«Scene zooms back out»

LunarMancer: It NEVER stops and I get NO respect!
LunarMancer: Even here, where I came to get away, to find peace.
LunarMancer: "It would make the beach party SO much nicer!"
LunarMancer: "Can't you calm the tide a bit more?It would make the beach party SO much nicer!"
LunarMancer: No matter where I go, they ask and ask and - BAH!

Hero: So you plan to…

«Dramatic silhouette of the LunarMancer appears in front of the suddenly enormous moon»


«Scene returns to normal»

Hero: Doesn't that seem… a bit extreme? And control the tides?
Hero: The whole beach will flood, the moon will CRUSH US… small things like that…

LunarMancer: Oh, don't worry about ME!
LunarMancer: I just recently bought a house up on the cliffs over there.

«Change scene, to LunarMancer's house with its shiny lanterns, and then back»

LunarMancer: By the time this is over I'll have a beachfront cabin on a tropical island… and NO neighbors!

Hero: But without the moon, won't your powers be -


Hero (thinking): The REAL quest here is to save these poor villagers.
Hero (thinking): … Yulgar needs to find a new travel agent.

«Scene fades»

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