GameHaven (Cutscene)


«Scene: Battleon Town near Ye Olde Inn»

«Ethan rushes in, panting»

Ethan: HERO! *huff puff* *huff puff* I'm glad *huff puff* that I found… *huff puff* *huff puff* *huff puff*


Ethan: *huff puff*… you.

Hero: Do I know you?

Ethan: Does anyone every really know anyone?
Ethan: *pausing philosophically*
Ethan: Anyway, we haven't met but you should be aware that I… am your king!

Hero: What?! King… Alteon? Is that you? I've never seen you without your beard and armor so I guess…

Ethan: What? No. Nonononono. I'm Ethan from the web comic Ctrl + Alt+ Del!

Hero: Katrllllll… aaalt… delll?

Ethan: I can't tell if you're mispronouncing it, or having a stroke. It's "Control Alt Delete". You know, like the computer keys?

Hero: What's a computer?

Ethan: You're going to be like this through the whole event, aren't you?


Ethan: Fine. I can work with this.
Ethan: Listen, Winter-een-mas is in trouble and I need your help to save it.

Hero: Stop making up words.

Ethan: I'll explain everything when we get to my kingdom.
Ethan: I'll use my scepter to make the trip faster for you.

«Raises his scepter»

Hero: Oh, that's neat. What kind of magic does it use to…

«Ethan knocks the Hero out with his scepter»

«Scene: Gamehaven»

Hero: Uh… OW. Uncool.

Ethan: I had to make sure you had the skull density of a hero! It was just a little pat on the noggin'.

Hero: "Little pat"? I think I have a concussion.

Ethan: Oh… your pupils don't always do that?

Hero: No. So… It's Ethan, right?

Ethan: Yep. Ethan MacManus, the King of Winter-een-mas. Welcome to GameHaven!

Hero: I know I've already asked this already but what's Wint…

Ethan: You might be asking to yourself, "What's Winter-een-mas?" if you live in a closet or something.

Hero: …OK, sure. let's say I live in a closet.

Ethan: Winter-een-mas is the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!

Hero: Better than Frostval?!

Ethan: YES BY DEFAULT Cause I've never heard of that other thing.
Ethan: Winter-een-mas is a holiday where your friends, family and loved ones crowd around their warmth of their TVs and computer monitors and celebrate video games and our fellow gamers.
Ethan: It brings the gaming world together as one as we spend the last week of January basking in the glow of our favorite games and giving thanks to the Gods of Gaming for their great gifts!

Hero: Wow. Sounds like my kind of party.

Ethan: Yep. I invented the holiday and it's my job to spread the word and bring good tidings of great games to the people.

Hero: And you're the king?

Ethan: Yep again, and a horrible fate has befallen your king. My Winter-een-mas CROWN has gone missing. Without it, my head gets cold.

«Zooms in on a crying Ethan»

«Zooms in on a portrait of Ethan with his Winter-een-mas crown»

Hero: THAT keeps your head warm? It doesn't even have a top.

Ethan: Duh. If it had a top, how would my thoughts get out?

Hero: I…

«Vigorously shaking the hero»


Hero: Alright, fine, fine. Just let go of me!

«Stops shaking, scene fades»

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