Artix needs a Girlfriend


«Scene: Outside Grimskull Dungeon»

Hero: WOW! Now THAT was an epic battle!

[We join our heroes somewhere outside DoomWood, near a dungeon with a strangely familiar logo on it.]

Artix: Agreed! There is NOTHING better than battling the evil undead!

Daimyo: Arf!

Artix: Huh?

Hero: Huh?

Daimyo: Arf! Arf!

Artix: Daimyo, what do you mean "there is more to life than battling the undead"?

Hero: He has a point… you might be TOO focused on fighting the undead.

Artix: Wait.. you can understand Daimyo too?

Hero: Of course!

[Note: The hero has a lot of secret abilities. SO MANY secrets….]

Daimyo: Arf!!!

Artix: A GIRLFRIEND!?!? What do you mean I need a girlfriend?

Artix: Not sure if you noticed… but every girl in this land wants to kill me.

Daimyo: Arf?

Artix: Vayle?! She is a Necromancer! … and still wants to kill me for destroying her undead brother in our last viral video.

Hero: What about Beleen?

Artix: Beleen!? I am deathly allergic to the color pink. If she even touches me my skin will burst into flames.

[Note: Both true and scientifically tested.]

Daimyo: *battle puppy whisper* …arf?

Artix: GRAVELYN!? THE EVIL EMPRESS OF THE SHADOWSCYTHE!?!? Seriously!? She has more reasons to kill me than you have bones!

[Daimyo is an undead slaying battle puppy… needless to say he has A LOT of bones.]

Artix: Sorry guys… I know you mean well, but I just do not think there is anyone out there… for someone like me.

(Girl Voice): HELP ME! HELP! ME!

Artix: I know I promised we would go straight to the Voltaire concert, Daimyo…

Artix: But that sounds like danger, and we ALWAYS help people in trouble. No matter what!

«Artix runs to the left off the screen»

Hero: ARTIX… WAIT!!!! That's one of Grimskull's Princess Anglers… *sigh* time to save Artix… again!

[Luckily you battled a Princess Angler before… otherwise you probably would have raced Artix to save her and fell in a trap.]

«The hero runs to the left off the screen»

Lord Of The Wedding Ring!

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